Promiscuity in women is common. 1 out of 3 women has 2 or more sexual partners in the lapse of a year.
Why do they cheat? Why do they sleep with many men? Lets look at promiscuity in women.
In the United States, 87% of single women over 17 are sexually active, and 30% are promiscuous. [1] In Latin America, the percentage of promiscuity is higher, maybe about 40% of girls over 17 are promiscuous.
Promiscuous girls have traits and behaviors, many of which are spectacularly surprising.
Restricted girls that do not sleep around prefer men with a disposition to commit, and with good personal and parental qualities.[2] They are more committed and seek more mutual satisfaction in a relationship. The unconstrained or promiscuous women, on the other hand, seek their own satisfaction, and prefer attractive males that have social visibility and popularity.
Girls that sleep around are flirty. But they are open for sex only for a selected group of men they perceive as high status, or that belong to a specific group in a hierarchy.
When promiscuous women have sex with a new partner, 25% of the time they do it with men they know and have known for some time, maybe with classmates, colleagues or friends, but sex usually does not redefine the relationship, they remain friends or acquaintances, as if nothing had happened. That is, they do not restrict to new acquaintances only. Nevertheless, 75% of new sex partners are formally unknown men or new acquaintances.
They may also differ in the type of person that attracts them. Promiscuous girls prefer men with more sexual experience, and prefer less the less experienced.
Promiscuous girls tend to be extroverted, aggressive, uninhibited and very concerned with their appearance. They dress well and if they can, they invest a lot in their appearance.
Women that sleep around are impulsive and immature. They also perceive themselves as more physically attractive.
They are impulsive, lack common sense and tend to express emotions inappropriately. It is likely that they do not accept cultural norms. They tend to be immature and have attitudes against authorities. They qualify lower in general wellbeing, tend to have fewer social skills outside of their circle, and have superficial social relations. In other words, they do not have many genuinely close friends.
When they have a long-term partner, they have less sexual interest in him or her, and qualify him as less attractive, an effect shared with people who view pornography. They see other men as more attractive. Perhaps that is one reason that drives them to infidelity.
It is more common for promiscuous women to come from unstable or divorced families. Promiscuity, like homosexuality, has an hereditary component, and an environmental or learned component.[3] Promiscuous persons are born, but also done. And if born, it can be undone. Personal decision is ultimately the determinant of promiscuity, as it is in homosexuality.
Promiscuous girls are less pleasant. With their primary partners, they tend to be somewhat rude and aggressive. It is more difficult to interact with them, and are less reliable. They see themselves as more physically attractive and give more importance to physical attractiveness when choosing a male. They score higher in psychopathy measures, are more self-centered and less mature emotionally. Generally, they frustrate with their partners and they do not like to ask for help from their romantic partner. They make friends for mere sexual attraction and the possibility of sex, and leave if those attributes are lost.
Promiscuous girls are more attracted to coquettish men, and are more flirtatious themselves. Somehow promiscuous people find one another and interact, nonverbal language seems to attract people of equal socio sexuality one to the other. Promiscuity and openness to casual sex can be “seen” and thus promiscuous attracts promiscuous.
Promiscuous women have amazing behaviors. They are more adventurous, bold and open; they lack self-control, but are socially assertive. They know how to attract attention and see themselves as interesting. In their minds, they tend to compare themselves constantly to others.[4] They prefer “bad guys”; they see “good guys” as boring and not exciting.
(Conservative) restricted women get depressed more, they are more closed to new ideas, and are more docile and submissive. Promiscuous women are more untamed and rebellious, and can take roles that are more “masculine”. They are more willing to support men economically, that is, they are more comfortable with being the one that pays. They are generally less “feminine” in their attitudes.
Casual or secondary relationships of promiscuous women are short-lived and have a sexual approach. They prefer men who are not involved in exclusive relationships, that is, they prefer them to be single. In their casual relationships, they usually give oral sex (fellatio or blowjob) and surprisingly, they reach orgasm more frequently than in their more stable relationships, but, like men, report significantly less physical and emotional satisfaction.[5]
Promiscuous girls don’t see themselves as such. They say they are against casual sex, but they are not what they say.
Almost half of the time they consume liquor before or during sex, and are more likely to request condom use. In her sexual adventures they get more excited, they like to experience the novelty of a new partner, and they perceive that receiving expensive gifts is part of the benefits of having casual partners. In fact, they overestimate their ability to extract benefits of men, and may underestimate their emotional attachment to a relationship, especially if the man is physically attractive.
Women that have casual sex have other faces, some of them ugly and surprising.
Women without restrictions require fewer resources to provide affection and sex, as long as a man meets her requirements of physical attractiveness and/or status. Promiscuous women are not easy for everyone, they usually tend to specialize in a selected group of men, but they do not recognize it. They are an easy get for highly attractive men who also have high status in their particular hierarchy. Some of these women are extremely promiscuous or hypersexual, reporting sex with much higher frequencies, and with much more partners, than any highly promiscuous man does.
Promiscuous women exchange sex for the time and attention of men of high status that would otherwise not be available to them. However, there are worse news.
Dr. John Marshall Townsend is author of “What Women Want – What Men Want”, is professor of anthropology at the University of Syracuse, and is a renowned research scientist in areas of human sexuality, sexual attraction, dating, marriage and divorce, among others. Dr. Townsend is one of the most renowned researchers of sexuality in the world.
In his research on low investment sex, he found that women open to sex might have incongruent behaviors. With some men they have one-night stands, but with others they play hard to get, restricting sexual access for months. This is called dichotomy. With some men it is just sex, and grant immediate sexual access, to others they require them a courtship period, demand a substantial investment, and make them chase her. To the latter, they cancel appointments and pretend to be a difficult “catch.” When she has a boyfriend, despite having casual sexual experience, they make him wait up to two months for sexual access.
It is easy for others but difficult for you. To you it was slow to “give it”, but she “gives it” very fast. That’s dichotomy. That is how promiscuous women frequently behave.
When they get angry, or when they feel that their partner is no longer investing resources on her, they restrict sex – that allows them to maintain some control of the relationship. Half of promiscuous women flirt and provoke jealousy in their partner, because according to them, it increases interest. (That technique is not exclusive to the promiscuous; many women generally do, perhaps in a more discreet and less aggressive form).
Many promiscuous women have adverse emotional reactions and sometimes try to adopt a more monogamous strategy.[6] But the problem is that they say one thing and do another. They say that they disapprove casual sex, and react negatively to sex without commitment; but they are extremely sexually permissive at the same time. They are not what they say. They are not what they seem.
Promiscuity has levels. At high levels she sleeps with complete strangers, and wakes up naked in unfamiliar places.
Promiscuity in women has levels. At high levels she “wakes up naked” in unfamiliar places, she sleeps with complete strangers, she sees men on the street with whom she has slept, and they act like they don’t know her. She feels used and cheap, but justifies her behavior saying that “sex is no big deal”, but she has anxious vulnerable thoughts. She has often thought she was starting a relationship, but then realized that the man just wanted sex. [7]
Promiscuous women and men are not mentally healthy, but they don’t realize it.
Furthermore, promiscuity and hypersexuality can lead to psychological disorders such as borderline personality disorder (BDP). This disorder is also common in people who suffered sexual abuse.
BDP is an emotional disorder that usually includes depression, and characterizes by extreme emotions and emotional reactivity. Also chronic romantic stress and relational conflict. BDP affects aspects of sexuality like sexual depression and sexual dissatisfaction. They are also more prone to infidelity, sexual boredom with a partner, and homosexual attraction. People with BDP usually do not reach orgasm with their primary partner and maybe that pushes them to more promiscuity.
People with depression can receive prescriptions for psychotropic drugs, which produce sexual dysfunction in up to half of patients. Antidepressants have adverse effects on almost every aspect of sexual functioning, including desire, arousal and orgasm, but new drugs are being develop associated with fewer side effects.
Bulimia (overeating and then self-induced vomiting) is associated with women who have had at least one boyfriend, who have had sex, that have had oral sex and/or have used oral contraceptives. Bulimics usually have more sexual experience than anorexics, and at the same time, report less sexual pleasure.
Many people are restricted, conservative and closed to sex simply because evidence indicates that by doing so they are more likely to attract and retain a better partner. Restricted persons tend to require commitment and loyalty, and good looks, and that is not negotiable, unless they are not so attractive. The best persons are attracted to people who have less sexual experience and who are sexually faithful.
Unrestricted girls can be brought to commitment, but you have to play your cards right. I recomend you my book “Girls that Misbehave”.
Article by Frederick Norman Tate, author of “Girls That Misbehave”.
[1] Promiscuity defined as 2 or more sexual partners in the last 12 months. Super promiscuous, that is 5 or more sexual partners in the last 12 months, are 6% of women and 14% of men. See NHSLS.
[2] Jeffry A. Simpson, Steven W. Gangestad, Sociosexuality and Romantic Partner Choice.
[3] Those who grow up in families full of conflicts tend to promiscuity. Girls who grow up with conflicts or with an absent parent begin menstruation at a younger age, which is indicative of plasticity, or biological changes, associated with environmental variables. Also they tend to have first sex younger.
[4] See Harvey, et al, Handbook of Sexuality in Close Relationships.
[5] Laumann, Gagnon, Michael and Michaels, National Health and Social Life Survey.
[6] Adverse emotional reactions are related to the rate of promiscuity and number of sexual partners in women but not in men.
[7] It is the fault of society, she says, to avoid the discrepancy between her permissive sexual behavior and her emotional reactions. Usually she tries to avoid the behavior in the future, but she believes that her actions are simply the result of arbitrary social conditioning. See Townsend et al.
